Last Modified ages ago

Ever noticed that when you are driving down a country road and you come across traffic, they are lined up 2 metres from the guy in front and there are 4 or 5 of the buggers doing that. I have a theory below to explain this annoying habit.

• guy at front running about 50mph
• 2nd guy catches up as he is running 55mph
• 2nd guy sits 2 metres from rear bumper of 1st guy
• 3rd guy who is running 55mph catches up with front 2
• 3rd guy sits 2 metres behind the front 2
• repeat for however number of idiots on the road
• I come motoring along at......er 60mph
• I look for spaces to overtake but can't because there is no space to pull back in
• the guy in front of me doesn't notice me moving in and out trying to get past
• suddenly he leaves a big gap because he were talking to the kids in the back seat
• I cog down and boot it, indicator on of course I don't want any excuses about I didn't see you type sh!te
• get past and then indicate to pull in and just drop in in front of the car just overtaken
• usually I get a look and sometimes a flash because I have done something they disagree with
• within 20 seconds of being passed the guy I have overtaken has now left a 50 metre gap between us

It's definitely weird because these muppets will drive right up the back of the guy in front and sit 2 metres behind them. They have no intention of ever overtaking but they still sit on the arse of the car in front. Then along comes I obviously driving faster and I arrive at the back of the queue. Now does the guy in front of me drop back slightly to give a gap for me to overtake? No he bloody doesn't and in doing so it means instead of overtaking one car I now have two to do which is obviously safer no? No its bloody not. So I am making it obvious that I want past because I'm moving over the white centre line to see if its clear to overtake and does the guy in front of me take the hint and give a gap, er no he still doesn't.

So eventually a small gap appears in unison with a clear road and I drop a gear or two and blast past. A quick look over the shoulder and indicator on pull back into the small gap between the cars. Now if I have the clear road I'll do them all but if I can't I have no problems doing one at a time. Then there is usually some form of signal from the overtaken as they don't like what I've done. GET OVER IT YOU STUPID D!CK. If you had left the minimum amount of space as dictated by the Highway Code then there would not have an issue with me overtaking you. Then it happens.......

20 seconds later I look in my rear view mirror and the fcuking idiot is now something like 50 metres behind me. Why the heck didn't you do that when I first caught up with you you doughnut?

Now this is something I have seen soo many times and yet I have no explanation for it. Why don't they leave a gap so people can overtake them safely rather than force someone to be pushy or worse force them to overtake more than one car at a time. The muppet will then complain to his fellow passengers about the state of driving by people in flashy cars and how they should be banned for dangerous driving and yet its the fcuking muppet that is forcing the issue by sitting up the arse of the guy in front but once he himself has been overtaken he will fall back up to 50 metres behind the car in front which is exactly what he should have been doing in the first place..

Then unbelievably the next guy in the queue is doing the same thing by sitting up the arse of the guy in front of him with no intention of overtaking him and yet he surely must have noticed that its now a different car sitting behind him now. Does he now leave a gap to allow me to overtake safely? Amazing no and so the whole process starts again. Bloody hell